The Top 11 Reasons Why Hillary Can't Count on the Women's Vote

"But you OWE ME, Monica!!"

1. "I want a wealthy, good-looking man to take care of me....and my country!"

2. "Hillary thinks she is so much better than us because she went to Law School and became a US Senator. She's not so great."

3. "Well, while she was out building a career, I STAYED AT HOME AND RAISED MY CHILDREN. See those scratches on the floor? That's from dragging around my cross!"

4. "Well, if no one better comes along between now and November, and I don't have a date, I'll come to the polls and vote for her. Well, unless I have my period. Or American Idol is on."

5. "If God wanted women to lead, he would have given the Virgin Mary a DAUGHTER, PTL!"

6. "Barak Obama is SO CUTE! (Screeeeeeeeaaaaaaaammmmm!)"

7. "If Hillary can't control her man at home, how can she control an Army of men in Iraq?"

8. Oohmigod! Did you SEE the way that skank beyotch looked at my man during that rally?

9. A Cracker over a Brother? Hah!

10 I just can't IMAGINE letting Bill Clinton pick out the curtains and the China at the White House.

11. Eeuuuw. Look at what she's WEARING!"