A Gentlemen's Guide to First Date Manners

1. Meet at a definite spot. Don't just agree to meet at the restaurant. Rather, tell her you'll meet her inside the door. Chances are, neither of you will look much like your online pictures, and there's nothing more embarrassing than accidentally greeting the wrong person. That is, unless she's hot and available.

2. Let the lady go first. Whenever walking together, always have your date go ahead. This is somehow supposed to let her know that she's The Queen or something. Who knows. Plus, it gives you a chance to check out her ass and make eyes with the hostess.

3. Always hold the door. Unless it's just kind of inconvenient, like you're distracted taking on your cell or busy eyeing some other hottie. But otherwise, try to do it at least sometimes. Women like it for some reason.

4. Keep the discussion light. Don't bring up politics, religion, or children that you think you may or may not have. Keep your sexual proclivities, conspiracy theories, scars, etc. for the second date. And be sure to master the art of smiling and nodding while she prattles on. (But keep an ear out for rising inflections -- they maybe questions!)

5. Put a cork in it. The first date is not the time to display your bodily functions -- there will be time for that later, dude! Better to excuse yourself to the men's room. In an outdoor setting, a SBD may be "passable", but proceed at your own risk.

6. Ask for a second plate. If your date has some leftover food, don't just reach over with your fork. The same goes for the NY Strip that the cutie at the table next door may be picking at.

7. Pick up the tab. Men should always pay on the first date, so when the tab comes, promptly move it to your side. That is, unless the date's a dud. Then let it collect dust until she either reaches for it or you agree to split it.

8. Walk her to her car. This gives you an opportunity to gather more intel. If it's a 1987 topaz Probe with boxes of craft supplies piled in the back and a Jesus air freshener, hit the road, Jack!

9. Keep the goodbye light. At most, a hug and the peck on the cheek is all that's acceptable on a first date. That is, unless you're both really drunk and/or horny. Then have at it -- but offer to move the action to your van or the mattress in the back of your pickup.